Our Baby Steps

Sophia at 3 weeks

The first half of the 2012 year has been a true challenge. Carl left. Jack and I tried to adjust to living on our own. Multiple different pests decided that they would move in to keep Jack and I company. Both dogs, ironically, suffered orthopaedic injuries. George then got hot spots (if you don't know what they are count yourself lucky). I braced to have a baby without my partner in crime. We hired a nanny to help out. Both cars broke down. Jack had a ruptured eardrum, hand foot and mouth disease, and two finger infections. We had a flea infestation. We thought we had termites (thank god for ants with wings). We had a security scare, and a serious alarm system put in. A large tree fall in the backyard, and had to have some larger trees removed in the front yard AND I gave birth....

Happy after her bath

So, when a friend said to me you look so calm, I responded well at least I have my daughter's health...LITERALLY 12 hours later.. Sophia woke up feeling warm. It was three AM on a Monday morning, and I questioned could she really be sick? I nursed her and felt like she was still warm. I debated: Do I go downstairs into Jack's room and get the thermometer to check her? With Carl gone (my bedside physician), I am overly eager to take the kids to the doctor. I rush Jack there now for every little thing. Upon checking her temp, I found a fever of 100.5...the EXACT temperature that requires you go to the ER. I called the pediatrician on call, and got the response of take her in.

Anne, Nolan and Amelia came over to play on Saturday. Thank goodness no one else got sick

Sophia two days before she was sick

When I was preparing for Sophia's birth, I became a total control freak and had a solution for every scenario. We had copies of directions to the hospital for all guests. A birthing team (Margo & Jess), a back up birth coach (Bethany), Lara to watch Jack, Jessica N to take him if I went in the middle of the night, a binder with all Freeman household information and the list went on...the house runs like a well oiled machine thanks to Ms. Lara.

My sweet angel

I felt so lucky when I made it to my due date and had Plan #1 work. It never dawned on me that I might have something go wrong when the baby arrived. After the pediatrician informed me I needed to leave for the ER to take Sophia in, I started shaking. I thought how am I going to do this? Jack is asleep happily in his bed. I threw on some clothes, and called my dear friend Jessica and told her I was coming over with Jack. Newly pregnant (and unbeknownst to her) with twins, I met her at her door and she took a screaming unhappy Jack in. I left there and thought what am I doing?!?! Sophie has a slight fever. This is crazy. Nothing is wrong with her, it is the middle of the night, and I have just totally stressed Jack out. The situation turned from bad to worse when we got to the hospital and realized they had to insert an IV and catheter into Sophia for this slight fever (an excruciating thing to watch). When they told me they had to do a spinal tap as protocol, I was so stressed by the early morning events that I didn't think about the severity of the testing. In my mind, I knew she couldn't have meningitis. It was implausible. I left the room to try to reach Carl.

Jack and Nolan two days before Sophia got sick

Trying to contact President Obama would have been a MUCH easier task than reaching Carl that morning. Somewhere within a hazy four hour wait, I finally got a hold of the Red Cross team. Only minutes before the Red Cross called me back, the doctors had left the room. I was given news that they thought our little girl had bacterial meningitis. The initial specimen had shown bacteria, and the analysis of the blood pointed to bacterial meningitis. I remember looking at the doctor and thinking THIS is not happening. As I spoke to the red cross, there were a million questions. So much had happened in just a few hours. It was around 9 am at this point, and I remember them asking if Carl knew and if he was coming home. No and no. The nurse came back and the doctors had talked to the Red Cross, and told them that they needed to do what they could to get Carl home. Sophia had turned four weeks old, hours prior. She was little, and bacterial meningitis can do devastating things.

They are such close friends

After begging and pleading, I finally got through to Carl. There was so much to say but all that came out of my mouth was that Sophia was sick, really sick. Within an hour, he was on a fifty hour journey back home. In the ER, they pumped Sophia full of antibiotics. She was finally given a room at the hospital, and we met our doctor. They gave us hope that it was possibly viral but all lab work pointed the other way. She was hooked to three monitors. Her fever started to go up, and then her heart rate. I swear it was every five minutes that an alarm went off. Her heart beat started going up and up past 210+ beats. She had averaged 150 beats in the womb. It was beyond scary because we didn't know how she was going to react to the high fever. I was so tired. I was drained. I hurt for Jack. I didn't want him to be without us.

Sophia's room at the hospital. She had all of these cords on her chest and hands.

People started showing up. The MOPS moms came out of the wood work. They tracked me down (literally I didn't even tell them what hospital I was at and they showed up in my room offering support). Bethany left work, took the day off, and held my hand as we listened to bad and then worse news. They thought Sophia would be there for 14 days, which meant I would be living there for 14 days, possibly 21 days but I wasn't even willing to even allow my mind to wander into 21 day territory. My fears of leaving Jack for the 48 hr birthing delivery just got a million times worse. I couldn't even register some of the news. My mom showed up a few hours later to take care of Jack. The first 24 hours were hell. Infectious disease showed up that night to go through complications of hearing loss, and other potential long term problems. Carl would call intermittingly as he got on and off planes.

So happy when they gave us a reprieve from the monitoring

First picture of Carl with Sophia

Finally, sunlight broke the next day, and nothing had grown on the culture. I cried. My mom cried. It was viral meningitis or at least 90% sure. We had to wait it out another day. During that day, I just sat there and held Sophia. She was so little, and I wanted so badly to take away all of her pains. I didn't want anyone else to poke at her. For maybe five minutes that day, I allowed myself to think of the fact that Carl was coming back. I thought about us taking turns at the hospital, and I hoped Sophia would be well enough to come home and we would have at least two days as a family together. That was really all I wanted. Two days. As I sat and hugged our little lady, I told her that she had to stay strong and fight this. She looked up at me and smiled for the first time. I really couldn't believe it. It gave me hope.

Feeling better

Before we knew it, the second day had passed and nothing new grew on the culture. She had viral meningitis. She was going to be okay. Carl arrived. He got to meet Sophia at the hospital, and he got to take her home. Instead of two days with my family, I got two weeks. The best part was that Sophia was going to make a full recovery. Not every family is that lucky. I can't imagine how hard it would have been to have Sophia in a hospital for weeks, and to have Jack at home. I am so blessed to have two wonderful healthy children now. I try to do my best to give them my undivided attention because I have realized how important it is to make every day count.

This blog was created to document my children as they grow up, and I admit I pick and choose the cutest of pictures and tell the best moments of our lives. I have stayed away from the taboo word, "deployment," and have barely mentioned the mess of things that have happened over these past five and half months. Can you believe its been five and half months? I want my children to read these blog books when they are grown, and I think it is important that they get a glimpse into our world. The REAL world. Therefore, I am going to try to be a little more REAL when it comes to what I write. With all that has happened, I would be remiss not to share it with them.